Josephus in his writings always tries to come off as eloquent and professional, but frequently he just sounds quite silly, sometimes even ridiculous:
Josephus is Wise
"However, in this extreme distress, he {Josephus;} was not destitute of his usual sagacity; but trusting himself to the providence of God, he put his life into hazard..."
“Then did Josephus take necessity for his counselor in this utmost distress, (which necessity is very sagacious in invention when it is irritated by despair,) and gave orders to pour scalding oil upon those whose shields protected them…”
The Spurious and Abortive Offspring of our Nation
"...They confessed what was true, that they were the slaves, the scum, and the spurious and abortive offspring of our nation..."
Can't Teach Jews to Use their Hands
"And when he had considered that the Roman power became invincible, chiefly by their readiness in obeying orders, and the constant exercise of their arms {weapons;}, he despaired of teaching these his men the use of their arms {hands;}..."
Fall on your Face and Worship
“When any persons entered into the temple, its floor received them…”
Lay Aside your Courage
"...the greatest part of them laid aside their arms, together with their courage, and betook themselves to lamentations…"
Josephus Hates Greek Satire
“…He adds another Grecian fable, in order to reproach us…”
“However, I may justly blame the learned men among the Greeks… although they may be superior to the old writers in eloquence, yet are they inferior to them in the execution of what they intended to do… where it must be reproachful to write lies, when they must be known by the readers to be such…”
"... nor by way of irony, as thou wilt say, (for he was entirely a stranger to such an evil disposition of mind,) ...”
Wait, what?
"...those that opposed themselves fled away...”
"...the ground did no where appear visible... as they ran upon such as fled from them…”
Josephus is Wise
"However, in this extreme distress, he {Josephus;} was not destitute of his usual sagacity; but trusting himself to the providence of God, he put his life into hazard..."
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book III, 8:7
“Then did Josephus take necessity for his counselor in this utmost distress, (which necessity is very sagacious in invention when it is irritated by despair,) and gave orders to pour scalding oil upon those whose shields protected them…”
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book III, 7:28
The Spurious and Abortive Offspring of our Nation
"...They confessed what was true, that they were the slaves, the scum, and the spurious and abortive offspring of our nation..."
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book V, 10:5
Hehe. Just try to imagine the rebels acting out what Josephus says they did, all standing there saying "oh, yeah, sure, we confess that we are the slaves, the scum, and the spurious and abortive offspring of our nation, there's no reason why we should try to hide the truth."Can't Teach Jews to Use their Hands
"And when he had considered that the Roman power became invincible, chiefly by their readiness in obeying orders, and the constant exercise of their arms {weapons;}, he despaired of teaching these his men the use of their arms {hands;}..."
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book II, 20:7
The Greek version of Josephus uses the word “όπλα” which is unambiguously “weapons” {and not the ambiguous “arms”;} in reference to the Romans, but for the Jews he despaired of teaching them the use of their “χέρια” which is quite literally “hands/arms” although the English translation gives “arms” for both. "Oh, I will never be able to teach these damn Jews the use of their hands", says Josephus.Fall on your Face and Worship
“When any persons entered into the temple, its floor received them…”
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book V, 5:5
You just fall smack on your face and bite the dust, every time.Lay Aside your Courage
"...the greatest part of them laid aside their arms, together with their courage, and betook themselves to lamentations…"
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book IV, 5:2
I think I'll just follow everyone else's lead and lay my arms and courage over here in a safe place and get busy with crying!Josephus Hates Greek Satire
“…He adds another Grecian fable, in order to reproach us…”
– Flavius Josephus Against Apion, Book II :8
“However, I may justly blame the learned men among the Greeks… although they may be superior to the old writers in eloquence, yet are they inferior to them in the execution of what they intended to do… where it must be reproachful to write lies, when they must be known by the readers to be such…”
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Preface, 5
"... nor by way of irony, as thou wilt say, (for he was entirely a stranger to such an evil disposition of mind,) ...”
– The Life Of Flavius Josephus, 1:65
Wait, what?
"...those that opposed themselves fled away...”
– The Wars Of The Jews, Book VI 8:4
"...the ground did no where appear visible... as they ran upon such as fled from them…”
– Josephus, Wars of the Jews, Book VI, 5:1
